I found out about David Robert’s book by reading a review on Goodreads. Have I mentioned lately how I love when I pick up on a random thread that leads me to a new author, a new book, a new adventure? Well, I do… and Goodreads is responsible for many of them. You have the old “Don’t judge a book by its cover” adage; in this case, the minute I pulled it up on screen at work and saw it, I did, and ordered it. I was not sorry! Nor will you be. You should order (or the dreaded- download! shudders.) a copy as soon as possible. It hasn’t been a fun last couple of days, so this book was the perfect antidote to the ails of life.
David Robert is a hypochondriac; he admits that immediately. He strongly suspects he’s got ass cancer (yes, you read that right) and decides to go on a series of “goodbye vacations” with his mother. The minute you read David’s description of his mom (a cross between Bea Arthur and Karen Walker, of Will and Grace fame) you know you’re in for quite a ride. She doesn’t disappoint, folks. Neither does David with his retellings of the haywire adventures they find themselves in. “The Lavender Yeti” (David’s nickname for her, as she wears the same lavender tracksuit on all trips) is hilarious. She not only starts a great deal of these misadventures into being, but once cornered for the part(s) she has played in them unfurling, holds her own, and even if she’s caught onto (a good deal), she comes out the winner. Seriously, this woman deserves a fucking award. Or a case of Chardonnay( not Charldonnay. More on that in the book). Or some more Xanax for the next trip she takes with David, Pete (his partner), or the sisters (Kelly and Lisa, who take turns travelling with David and his mother, when they can). I can only hope they’re travelling soon and David is writing another book about it! If this is how armchair travel books were written, I would read nothing else. Seriously. Of course, just when you think you can’t laugh harder, Alta drops a bombshell on David that makes the reader’s heart seize up with fear. Somehow, you have the feeling this woman will be around after the rest of us are gone from this Earth. I would not be surprised, friends, if she is invincible. She is certainly irreplaceable.
David’s Goodreads author page asks what your (the reader) favorite chapter is. This, my friends, I cannot do just yet. I have to say that I was strangely happy to read that Pete has quite a fear of snakes- including garter snakes. That’s me, folks! I’m the person who told my coworkers the minute I saw one in my yard two years ago I ran screaming into my house, to the amusement of my neighbors. There is someone else who feels the garter snake is also poisonous, or rather, venomous (more on that in the book)- and it’s David’s partner Pete. Vindication is sweet, friends and fellow readers! There’s also the story of the all-day bank hell, Alta (David’s mom) trying to eat a man in Portugal, David’s near miss ride on a psychotic camel named Forrest Hump (I kid not!), the espresso drink-off with the local that ends with David the victor (wait until you read what the prize is.), the hotel housekeeping guy who goes nuts and does impromptu command performance of “All The Single Ladies”, David and his sister wrestling to the death over climbing the hill from hell, I mean, really- it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to pick a favorite chapter. Maybe after I read the book again and have multiple friends of mine read it.
Prepare in advance. If you read it (and again- do it!), make sure you are covered well, because you’ll piss your pants laughing. No joke. Definitely the funniest book I’ve read this year.