Trash This Motherfucker: In A Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware

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I think the last time I had to put a book under this was sometime last year. This book came out last summer, so it is not a new title, per se. What is it? Supposedly last summer’s hot psychological suspense. What is it, really? Ridiculously drawn out, tedious, and convoluted to the max. The characters are cartoon character brats who want things their way, in the worst Burger King motto of literary device. At first glance, I thought it was “Cruel Intentions” meets “Gone Girl”. It’s more Scooby Doo meets Mean Girls. And that is not a good thing!

Leonora…known to most as Nora but to her old school chums as Lee..(Another point of contention…you are going to have the reader confused by the lead character being called two names throughout the book…and when that same character lashes out and pouts like a petulant, prepubescent teen when another character calls them by the unpreferred name, it is going to be hard not to want to bitch slap that character instead of feeling sympathetic.) is invited to a “hen party” for her former best friend Clare. What is a “hen party”? If you aren’t English, you won’t know. It’s what they call a bachelorette party. I thought it was a fowl orgy. She hasn’t talked to Clare in 10 years, and the end of that friendship is shrouded in mystery. Let me ruin it for you-it was over a guy they were both mad for. Why wouldn’t Nora, being a mystery author herself, question this invite out of the blue? She does briefly, but decides to go anyway. Their mutual friend Nina decides to go, so Nora goes with her. When they arrive at the destination, they’re greeted by Flo (Kiss my grits meets SWF), Clare’s maid of honor, best friend, and the person who arranged the hen party. Let’s talk about Flo. She is one step away from Kathy Bates in “Misery” about Clare, even wearing the same clothes as her beloved friend. When one of the guests has to leave to get home to her newborn child, Flo makes menacing comments during the Ouija portion of the evening. Ouija boards. Yeah. I know many bachelorette parties with those. Seriously?!?. It was like a bunch of spoiled rich kids gathering at a party for someone, who it turns out, may be a viable loon burger. The house where this is happening? Is in the middle of a forest. Half of the house is a huge glass window….creepy is what the author is going for, and I’ll give her points for that. While I was creeped out, I was also questioning it, though. The house is broken into in the middle of the night. Instead of calling the cops, everyone brushes it off. The next night, it happens again- this time with deadly results. Nora wakes up in the hospital to the authorities telling her that she was in an accident and they need her to tell them what she remembers. Amnesia and fear play catch and release with Nora, who is told that Clare is also gravely injured and that Flo tried to commit suicide. SAY WHAT? The cooking couldn’t have been that bad! Nora remembers what happened (James, the groom and the man that broke up theur friendship years ago, is an integral part of this), and quickly freaks when the cops inform HER that she is under arrest for MURDER. Oh, the noes! This leads to a seemingly recovered Nora sneaking out of the hospital, hailing a cab to the deep, dark wood (the cab driver knows what she is talking about, despite Nora having no idea of the address?) and the scene of the crime, hr reasoning that she can solve, as Scooby Doo would. What follows is so contrived it can’t really be expected that a reader with an ounce of intelligence would buy it. I certainly didn’t. I was ticked that I spent time reading this odd little supper club production. I urge you to pass on this one. Ridiculous, overwrought, and appalling to question the reader’s intelligence as this has. Throw that in the trash bin!

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~ by generationgbooks on June 8, 2016.

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